Working Towards Our Purpose

Welcome Back to episode 55 of Working towards

our Purpose. In today's episode, we are going to talk about

how to enjoy your life more now. But

before we get into that, I always like to start these episodes with a little

check in with ourselves. How are you feeling today? How are you

feeling this week? I am feeling

on the, on the upward, I think.

Kind of, kind of had a. I had a.

I had a fun weekend that I was looking forward to and,

and then I did it and I, I felt as if

I put a little too much pressure on it to,

to be fun and I felt like I could have

been a little bit more sort of present.

And I think that I didn't understand at the time, but I

eventually worked through some stuff and found out like maybe

why I wasn't being present. And I was kind of focusing on some other things

that were bothering me. And yeah, that kind of leads into

today's episode about just

feeling, feeling not present.

And it's interesting

to me, like being, being present is like a

interesting concept. I think that it's. The more you think

about it, the more you can't be present because, you know, like during,

during my weekend I was like thinking to myself that I was like, oh,

you should be more present right now. But you can't really think yourself

into being more present. At least,

at least not like in the moment or at least I haven't been able to.

Maybe you can, but I think it's hard for, for me.

So I think. And the whole reason why, like I'm bringing this

up is because I think that when you are present and you're not too

much in the future or too much in the past, you are able to enjoy

your life more. And so that's, that's today's kind of

topic and the concept that I want to talk about because

yeah, it just came up for me and

yeah, just we'll kind of get into it now, I guess. So

I think I want to, I want to start by like talking about what does

presence mean? And then I want to get into some things that you can

do to become more present in your life. Because I think

that leading that, that being present leads to more

happiness, enjoying your life more, you're more in the moment.

So I think, I think that that's really one of the things that I've tried

to be more, you know, as I've

like worked more on

myself and, and trying to be more content with my life

is, is being present. So what is presence? I think presence is

just, you Know, like. Like I said, it's. It's not thinking about the past

too much. It's not like, you know, thinking about being

regretful. It's not thinking about the future or

worrying about the future where. Where you're gonna go, what something's gonna

lead to, if a decision was right or wrong. Uh, it's. It's more so

just sort of existing in the present. And if you think, you know,

back on your life, is there a moment where you can think of being present?

I think that there's one story that kind

of comes to my mind, and I think this one kind

of comes to my mind because it was sort of a moment where,

kind of like I was saying for this weekend where, like, I was looking forward

to it. And then when it started, I realized I was

kind of in my head about it, and I was like, oh, man, I really

want this to be, like, a nice, fun day, but I'm overthinking

it and I'm kind of stuck. And then I was able

to get through it and to become more present. So. So, yeah, I was

hanging out with this. This new friend at the time, and

we. We had, like a. A day. We were going to have, like, an, you

know, going on adventure, kind of be spontaneous. And I

noticed that, like, as soon as the day started, I kind of, like,

tensed up and I was in my head and I was

not enjoying the moment. I wasn't being present.

And then I was able to kind of

take a second away.

The person I was with had to go walk a dog, and I decided to

just be by myself in the car instead of going for the walk. And I

listened to a song that had just come out by a band that

I really like. Actually, I'm wearing the shirt right now. Intuit over it.

They just came out with a song, and I really liked it. And

so I sat there and I kind of just listened to the song, and I,

like, kind of forgot everything. And the song

created, like, a sort of emotional

response for me. Like, it made me feel something right. And

when that happened, I was kind of able to just, like, forget about

being in my head about, like, trying to do this or just do that. And

then as I was, like, immersed in the song, then I kind of,

like, figured out what I was doing. I was like, oh, I'm putting

a lot of pressure on this because I want it to be this, like, perfect

day. But in doing so, you're gonna,

like, not. You're gonna miss out. You're not gonna be there. You're gonna be

trying to construct this thing in your head instead of just experiencing

life and being. Actually being spontaneous and just

enjoying the moment. So then like, after I heard that song,

I kind of figured that out and then I was kind of able

to move on my day and I did have a great day. And it was

one of the, like, first times that I was able to kind of see that

happen in real life or, or

acknowledge it or kind of know what's happening, I guess, like.

Cause I. Cause I knew that I wasn't being present and I wanted to become

that. But it wasn't until I listened to that song and

sort of pulled myself out of my own thinking that I was then be able

to be like, okay, let's, let's not make any.

Let's not think about this too much and just be in the moment.

But yeah, it's hard. It's hard to like be present and to be in the

moment. Especially when you're, you know, you got things to worry about, you got bills

to pay, you got whatever. Um, always, always

thinking about something, always thinking about the past. So I find

myself trying to find the present more. Um,

so. So yeah, little, little all over the place, I think, right now.

Um, but pulling it back together. I think that

being present can lead you to enjoying your life more now.

Because something that I always hear people say, and I've

even said myself, is that like, I'll be happy when,

like when I have a business that supports me and I don't have to

work for somebody else or, you know, I'll be happy when I have enough money

and when I have more money or I'll be happy when I live in

this apartment or house or car or whatever it is. I think

people always. Well, let me say that for me, I think

I've always done in the past the thing where I'm like, I'll be

happy when I get this thing or when I do this thing or when I'm

successful at this thing. And I think that that's a lie.

It's a lie to yourself that you can't be happy right now. And

it's a choice and it's up to you to

either be happy or to postpone your happiness and

to postpone enjoying your life. And I think that

by being present you can kind of forget all of

the day to day things that trigger us and upset us

and make us anxious and you can live in the

moment and therefore enjoy wherever it is

you're at, whether you have money or you don't have enough money. None of that

stuff matters if you're, you know, going to the park and

just enjoying being out in nature and the beautiful weather. And

the more we can kind of come back to the present moment, I think the

more we can enjoy our life in whatever stage we're at. Like,

we don't have to be. We don't have to be there to enjoy our life.

So, yeah, I'm saying this to myself because I know that an older version

of me always used to just think, whenever I get to that

point, then I'll be happy. Whenever I get my side business working,

then I can be happy and start enjoying my life.

But it's a lie. You don't have to wait until then. You could enjoy your

life right now. So, yeah. So to be present, to

be more present, how do you get there? How do you get to

becoming more present? And I wrote down a couple things here in

my notes that I've done in the past to.

To find more presence. The first

thing it kind of, you know, hits a lot of these episodes, hit on this

topic of just deep breathing. Sometimes when.

When I'm not being present, I. That's the first thing I'll try, is just taking,

like, a couple of big, deep breaths. Do three big, deep breaths. Hold

them at the top and hold them at the bottom. And. And that kind of

calms you down a little bit, calms your nervous system down. And sometimes.

Sometimes it does work. Um, you know, kind of depending on

whatever it is, maybe you're. You're overanalyzing or overthinking about.

Um, but that's definitely, definitely something to try. Cause it's so easy to

try. Um, you know, it's. It's worth a shot. So,

you know, another thing that I've. I've tried to do before

is trying to. And this is something that I've heard from other people

to do. Like. Like a therapist has always said, like, try to feel your body.

Like, where. Where are your legs? Where do your legs, like,

hit the ground? Like, can you feel them making contact with the ground?

This one for me has been a little bit more harder. Whoa.

More hard. Because I

have a hard time, like, being in my body and feeling my

body. Um, so if you're like me, then this one may be a little bit

more tough. But I know that it does work for a lot of other people

who are maybe a little bit better at getting into their body

to just notice, like, where your arms and hands are, because it

kind of pulls you out of Your thinking brain and more into,

like, your body, which is in, in the present, in,

you know, existing now. Um, another thing that

you can try, which is, which is the thing that worked for me in the

story is engaging your senses. And, you

know, listening to music, I'm engaging my ears. I'm.

It helped me to, like, feel something that was other

than my thinking. I was able to, like, engage my emotions through my senses.

Um, so. So trying to use your senses, whether it's touch or

listening to music or maybe smelling something,

that's. That's, that's maybe worked for me in the past,

actually. Um, now that I think about it, sometimes you smell something

and then, like, it brings back a good memory and that's a super

great way to like, become a little bit more

present. Is that presence? I don't know,

maybe it's not presence, but. But it's definitely like a good feeling.

So maybe I'm thinking of something else here, but, but perhaps, you

know, smelling something can. Can pull you out of your mind of worrying,

your worrying mind. Um, and, and, and make you feel

a little bit more present. Um, but then this kind of all brings me to

the biggest thing that I think usually works for

me, which is writing and journaling. And

this is something that like, again, a therapist would say is like,

doing the work. My therapist would say, like, this is doing the work, going through

the, the emotions. Um, because I find that when I'm not

present, it's because I'm thinking about something that had happened

already or that will happen in the future, that will happen in the future.

And I sort of get stuck in, like,

a feeling. So if I think back to

this, this past weekend, there was. There was an occurrence,

like, early in the weekend that like, happened. And it made me

sort of feel a certain way, maybe sort of felt bad about

myself or about, like, my choices. Um, and I was kind of

stuck in. In that thinking, like, oh, man, am I

going about this the right way? Am I, am I doing this the way that

I want to? Kind of just, you know, stuck in my own head of.

Of my own choices, comparing myself to others. Um, that. That was a

big part of it. And I didn't really

know, like, I didn't really break that down and know why I was doing that.

I just sort of felt like me. Comparing myself to others. I was sort of

pushing it away, trying, hoping it. It went away, but it kept just

popping back up. And then finally on Monday morning,

I sat down and I was like, okay, we gotta, we gotta write this

Out. I'm gonna journal this out. And I. I did it on

my laptop this time. I pulled up my laptop, pulled up a Word doc in

Google, and just started typing. And at first I, like, I didn't know what to

type about, so I was like, all right, we'll just type, like, whatever it is

that you're feeling right now, maybe some memories of whatever you think

maybe started this or triggered this. And then I just started going down a

rabbit hole of trying to uncover that, but

it's hard. And I certainly, like,

kept distracting myself. Like, you know, I sat down, I wrote like, a

sentence, and then I was like, oh, let me check my phone. You know, let

me. Let me go look at my podcast stats for some reason, because,

you know, I wanted to see if more people are listening or whatever going

on Instagra, scrolling whatever it is that you do to distract yourself. I started

doing all those things, and then I realized that I was doing that, and I

was like, okay, you gotta focus here. I know it's difficult, which is why you

don't want to do it, but if you do it, you'll feel better.

So I put a timer on my computer for 30 minutes.

I put my phone in the other room and I just typed for

30 minutes, not knowing, like, what I was going to type. I just, like, started

somewhere and just started trying to describe my feelings,

which then started, you know, describing,

like, where those feelings came from, the actual things that happened that triggered these

feelings. And then I can start to break down, like, you know, maybe

why I'm feeling this way. And I could be like, okay, well, yeah, I understand

maybe why I would feel that way, but I don't have to feel that way

because of this, this, and this. And it really was helpful

in trying to understand, like,

why I was feeling the way that I was. And once

you're. Once I was able to write it down and to get it out of

me, it then became an unstuck feeling, and it wasn't stuck

in me anymore. So I wasn't. I was able to go

on with my Monday and to leave this thing behind, leave this thing

that I was worrying about behind. And I think

that that's the biggest thing that has helped me

try to get through feelings, to get past feelings

and to then become more present. Because once you

aren't holding on to this stuck feeling and

you let it go, you let it pass through you, you get it out on

paper, you get it out, you know, through talking or whatever it is,

you don't have to hold on to it anymore. And you don't have to keep

consistently thinking about it and trying to, like, solve it in your head

or to try to keep pushing away in your head and thinking, oh,

this is uncomfortable. Let me try to push it away. Or, you know, try to

think around it. It's. You don't have to go around it

anymore. It's almost like. Almost like a sliver, right?

Like, almost like when you get a little piece of wood caught in your finger,

you know, a little sliver, and it's. It hurts, it's

agitating. It's just a little tiny thing, but it hurts. And it

usually will keep hurting until you remove the piece of wood. And

you can think of it similar to that, where, like, maybe it's just this little

thing. It's not really that deep, or it's not, you know, that

monumental. It's not this huge, traumatic thing, but it's this little thing that's bothering

you. And you keep just, like, you know, touching it and hoping that it's gonna

go away, but it doesn't, and ignoring it, but it doesn't go away. But once

you actually look at it and then you're able to remove the thing that

caused it, remove this liver, then it can heal itself, and

you don't have to think about it anymore. And before you know it, it's gone,

and you don't even remember it happening. Um, so I think that

these sorts of things that happen to us, you know, throughout our days, throughout our

weeks, this kind of stuff always comes up. And if you're able to

sort of address it and then get past it,

then you can become more present. So I was almost, like,

a little upset at myself this weekend because I let it go so

long. But I think in writing, I

figured out that, like, I was so, like, intent on

having a great weekend because we had these things planned, and

I was like, oh, I don't want this to bother me because I want to

have a good weekend. So I just tried to, like, push it away, and

it doesn't work. I went through my weekend and

I. I wasn't as present as I wanted to

be. So, you know, it's a great

learning lesson again, always learning these lessons,

and it's a great idea

to talk about. You know, gave me this topic for this podcast.

So, yeah, I think that in order

to try and enjoy your life more now,

finding presence can help you do that. And I think it's one of the biggest

things that has helped me, uh, enjoy my life where I'm

at, and, and yeah, in, in order to get more

presence, you know, we, we can do those things like breathing and, and

engaging our senses and feeling our body

physically. And for me, the biggest is journaling and,

and writing it out and figuring out where you're stuck so then you can become

unstuck and you can become more present. Because, you know, if I were to

do this little journal exercise, uh, before the weekend started, maybe

on Saturday morning, I think I would have been a little bit more present

this weekend and maybe I could have enjoyed the moment a little bit

more. And, you know, it's okay. You know, I don't regret

it. Um, I think it, that it was a good learning decision or

a good learning opportunity for me. Um, and I still had fun this weekend. I

still had a great weekend. Um, but I did, I did notice that like, I

wanted to be a little bit more present. So,

so kind of working through these feelings, I think allows you to become

more present. So instead of ignoring them, how can we sit

down, you know, be a little bit uncomfortable

and work through the feelings to try to let them

pass through us so we don't have to hold on to them. So,

yeah, I think when you're last thing that

I kind of want to say on this is that like, when you're not present,

you're kind of missing out on life. And I don't say that

in a ways to be regretful, but

more of a cautionary sort of statement of

if you can't be present, you end up missing out on the things that are

right in front of you. You end up missing out on the fun that's right

in front of you, on the things that you could be grateful for that are

right in front of you. And I think when you're able to do that,

you can enjoy your life a little bit more. So, yeah, that's all I got

for you today. Thank you for listening. As always,

you could follow working towards our purpose on Instagram

for some more content about purpose and you can always watch these

episodes on YouTube. So until the next time,

I hope you have a good week and I'll talk to you on another episode

real soon. Thanks,

Sam.