Working Towards Our Purpose

Welcome to episode 65 of Working towards our

purpose. In today's episode, we are going to talk about the

art of letting go. But before we get into

that, we are going to do our check in with ourselves. So

take a moment to check in with yourself, see how you're feeling today, see

where you're at. And as I'm doing that for

myself, I am feeling

a bit tired.

I didn't get too much sleep last night,

so acknowledging that, feeling a little bit low, lower energy.

Yeah, Doing some new stuff and

fighting the battle of

telling yourself you're not good at it and taking

that seriously because, like, obviously I'm not good at it. It's a new thing.

So, yeah, just a little, maybe a little worn out today,

but that's all right because we're here, I'm here and we

got a episode today. I got something that I want to talk about that

I think will be helpful. And yeah,

so, yeah, hopefully, hopefully you've got a second to check in with yourself before we

start. But yeah, so let's get into today's

episode, the art of letting go.

This sort of came about because

I am trying to grow my YouTube, you know, trying

to, trying to like make 500

subscribers, the thousand watch hours so you can turn on monetization,

you know, really like trying to learn a lot about YouTube and trying to

figure out how to make it work. And

yeah, I just kind of brought up this idea along with

this book that I'm reading over here about stoicism

and yeah, just the idea that like, there's only

certain things that you can like focus on

at once and control. So

yeah, that, that's what I want to say about that.

But to think about, like, I think I want

to frame this whole episode first, so maybe just ignore what I just said, but

I want to frame the episode about like, for someone

who's starting something new, for somebody who is like trying to work on

like a business or making a change in their life and then

sort of coming up with like hitting the obstacles and like trying

to overcome them. I think one of the biggest

obstacles is like trying to control everything. So,

so that's what this episode is going to be about. It's going to be about

letting go of the things that we can and, and

controlling the other things that we can. And

so, yeah, as I was like digging into my YouTube and like trying to figure

out like, what I can do to grow, you know, I can't make people subscribe,

I can't make people watch. Obviously that's out of my control. But what are the

things that I can control? So it got me really thinking a lot

about, like, worrying. Because worrying is one thing

that comes up when you're talking about, like, trying to

overly control things. And I don't know, it just kind of

reminded me. I'm going to go on a bit of a tangent, but it reminded

me of how worry is, like, a part of

my family. Like. Like, I think it's. Maybe it's genetic. I don't

know. Probably passed down just through observing.

But yeah, I mean, definitely

worry is part of, you know, part of my family. And my

grandmother on my father's side was like, a huge worrier. And

she used to worry about so many different things. And

thinking about that kind of, like, helped me a little bit because it's like, oh,

like, I. I worry a lot. So it kind of makes sense because

I observed that as a kid. But then I tried to put, like, a little

bit of a. I don't know, I thought of this one story that put, like,

sort of a lighter spin on it. I remember one time she was talking about

the animals outside, and I think specifically, like, squirrels, because she had, like, a

lot of squirrels outside of her house. And

she. I remember. I'm pretty sure I remember the story.

Maybe. I guess, possible I'm making it up. I was young,

but I swear I remember her saying something like, you know,

what are the squirrels gonna do? Because it's getting cold out, it's the wintertime. Like,

where are they gonna go? Where, like, I want them to be warm. I'm worried

about them. And, like, obviously, I think the

squirrels probably got it figured out at this point. And she might

have been joking a little bit, but I think there was definitely a part of

her that was serious and, like, did worry about those things. Cause

she did worry about a lot of different things. Whether it was, like, her grandkids

or her children or anything, really,

there was just a lot of worry. And so thinking about

that, thinking about how we worry, how I worry,

some of that stuff we can let go. Like, I think

worrying about the squirrels in the wintertime is something we can probably

let go of. Unless we're, like,

gonna go build a squirrel sanctuary or something. In that case, you know,

by all means. But there are certain things that we

can let go of, and there's certain things that we can focus on,

I think. Yeah, back to the idea of, like, you're building

something, you're trying to make a change, you're trying to improve yourself.

Focusing on the things that you can do something about

and letting go. The rest can be extremely helpful because

when you do something new or different, you get overwhelmed

easily. There's, like, so many things going on, and I think it's.

Maybe it's human nature. I don't know. At least it's my nature to, like, want

to control everything. You want to know how

everything's gonna happen. You wanna, like, lay out all these plans. You wanna

make sure that you can make things work.

And a lot of times I think we. We just

overly. All right, A lot of times I think that I can overly

control things in order to make something happen.

YouTube channel, for example. Like, I think there was a time where I was like,

okay, I need to be monetized by the end of the year. And that's something

that I wanna make happen, but I can't really control that. I certainly

can't control that. So to think

about these sort of problems in a different light of, like, how can we

let go of the things that we can't control and then focus on the things

that we can control. So brings me into the next part of

this episode. How do we let go? So I got three

steps here that we can work through to help

let go of the things that don't matter. So I think

the first thing is realizing

that action is the only thing that we actually can

control. And

that sometimes takes a little bit of thinking about,

like, you know, obviously an action would be like

making this podcast. I'm making this podcast right now. It's an action that I'm

doing. I'm putting it on YouTube. Therefore, you know,

it's an action I'm doing to help grow my YouTube channel. That's something that, like,

I can control. Another thing that is. Is an

action is, like, we get to decide

how we act based off of

how other people treat us, which is a reaction,

which to me is another action. So, you know, if

somebody. Somebody leaves a comment on my YouTube channel, for example, and it's a

mean comment, I could get upset about it. I could comment back,

I could say something mean, you know, ban myself,

whatever, feed into the negativity, or I could just

let it go. And that's

like an action. I'm. I'm choosing to not do anything about it. I'm

choosing to not do anything. Therefore, to me,

a reaction to something is an action. And then another thing that

comes to mind with. With actions is, like, your thoughts. And

a lot of times you don't get to decide what your thoughts are.

They just Kind of pop into your head. You don't get to

really choose your feelings. They kind of just happen. But you can

decide, like, what you do with them. So you can observe your

thoughts, notice that they're in a negative pattern, and then choose

to try to do something to change them. To either,

you know, think more positive thoughts or meditate, journal, whatever.

Do something to change the way that your thoughts are existing.

So to me, that's like, the biggest thing is to realize that

the only thing that you really have control over is your own

actions. And I think

that is a really important realization. Like, I was trying to do

some research into this episode before, you know, before I was

recording, and I was, like, looking up articles about, like,

letting go and, like, reading, like, Psychology Today and stuff.

And it was funny, cause they would all have, like. They're like, 10 things

can. The things you can control. And I

would read down them and, like, every single one of them were just an action.

So to me, it's like, well, that simplifies things even

so much more, is because, like, you look at any situation and you're like, the

only thing I can control here is how I act.

And I think that, for me, anyways, it really helps simplify

the overwhelm that can easily come about.

So. So then the second step here in the art of letting go is

letting go of the rest. And of course, that's easier said than done,

but to realize that if something is not an action,

then we can start to let it go. And

that, to me, is. Is really helpful too, because I think

thinking about, like, what I can do and then

knowing that everything else just falls into the category of letting go, it

makes that sort of thought process a little bit easier. Um, I don't have to

work that hard to figure out what I should be letting go. Um,

so now, you know, knowing what you should let go and then also letting it

go are two different things. So how do you start to let things go?

Um, I think one thing that's helpful is

always to allow yourself to feel a certain way

or allow yourself to feel your feelings about whatever's happening. Because

even if you can't control it, you still might have feelings about it. And

allowing yourself to feel those feelings can then help you work through it and

actually let it go, versus ignoring the feeling,

being angry, and then continuing to be angry about it. For example,

negative YouTube comments. I've gotten those. If

I just pretended like it didn't upset me or like I

wasn't bothered by it in the slightest, I

Probably would still be thinking about it, and it would probably still make me angry.

You know, it might prevent me from. From putting something out there that could be

controversial and think about, like, what a negative person would comment

to it. But I could.

Or what I did in that case was I thought about it for a

second. I, like, tried to allow myself to be, like, angry and

be like, why is this person, you know, saying this thing,

whatever, and allowing myself to feel that

emotion that's tied with what happened, and then I can

let it go. I'm allowing myself to be upset, I'm allowing myself to be angry,

and then I'm letting it go and moving on

and. Cause there's nothing that I can do to. To prevent that. Um, so

letting go is, you know, sort of a. A

tricky thing. Um, I've always had trouble letting go. I've always

had trouble letting things go.

And that's part of why I'm doing this episode now is I'm trying to

let go of the idea that I have control over this YouTube

channel that I'm creating and building. And

it's a reminder to me that I have no control over how many subscribers I

get over how many people watch things, but I do have control over

my actions. So that leads me to the third step of the art of

letting go, which is action. It's like

deciding to do the thing. So, for example,

instead of worrying about how many subscribers I have, I'm going to go make a

podcast. I'm going to go make a different type of video for YouTube that I

haven't made before. I'm going to go add more things to

build this resource that I've created.

Those are things that I can do. So. So deciding to take the

action, I think is. Is. Is like the last step here. Um, and

then another thing, too, that, that can be helpful

as far as, like, trying to work through the

act of letting go. Um, and this one

may sound silly, but it always helps me

anytime I'm, like, by the ocean or if I look up at the

stars at night. It also happens, like,

when I'm in the desert, but I'm not. I don't live near the desert, so

I can't really do that. But if you do, you know, maybe you can do

this. It's just like seeing nature

in the expansiveness that it is, how big it is

makes me feel small, which then makes me

sort of not worry about all these things that I'm trying to control.

Because I sort of realized, like, you know what?

I don't really have as much control as I think, or I don't have as

much control as I want to be having. So that's been really

helpful for me to just

kind of take a step back and be like, okay, all this stuff that you're

worrying about, there's really only a little bit you can control, and that is your

actions. Another thing that helps with that is hiking,

going out in nature.

Surrounding myself with nature, I think, also kind of gives me that same sort of

feeling. And then another thing I can do to

help, too, to sort of calm my overwhelm, is to

meditate and to be still, which is something that we always come to

with these actions. And then the last thing that I

want to add was to sort of play

and, like, laugh, joke around. I think that when you

don't take yourself as seriously, when I don't take myself as

seriously, it becomes easier to let things go. And

I notice that they kind of go hand in hand.

When I'm trying to let something go and there's like, a ton of resistance and

stuff, I'm usually taking myself too seriously. And if I

can go laugh about something, go maybe watch something that's funny,

go joke around with a friend, then it usually becomes a little bit easier

to see, okay, this is something that, like, I can't control. I.

I can let it go. I can move through it. Um,

so, yeah, I think. I think that that's. That's something that's kind of

always worked for me too. Um, so. So, yeah, working through those

three steps of letting go, thinking about

the action that you can take, letting go of the rest, and then

doing the action, like, actually doing the action. That's the third step. I know

I always confuse these steps, but I'm confident on these

this time. The first step is deciding the action, and

then the second one's letting everything go. And then the third one is, like, actually

doing it. Like, go do the thing. Go for a hike. Go look at the

stars. So I think that that's

sort of the process that sort of helped me to realize

that we just. We don't have control over a lot of things that we wish

that we did. And,

yeah, I. I think that's kind of all that I want to say

about this. I know it's a little bit early, but that's okay. I

did want to end this episode, though, with a quote from

this book that I'm reading now. I haven't finished. I kind of just started

it. It's called how to Be a Stoic

And I don't know how to pronounce this guy's name.

Massimo Pig Lucci.

Italian guy, I guess. Hopefully I didn't butcher that too bad.

But there's a quote in here that sort of just reinforced kind of

this whole episode. Kind of. Kind of, you know, helped to give me the idea

of this episode, because I was reading this as I was sort of struggling with

my YouTube channel. And the quote

is. I don't even know where it's

from. Some ancient stoic, some.

Some older guy, I guess. But the quote says,

make the best use of what is in your power and take the

rest as it happens. Some things are up to us, and some things

are not up to us. And I know that's super simplistic

and straightforward and simple, but I think that.

That there's a lot of truth in that. And I think that the more that

I can try to live in that way, the

simpler things become, the easier things become. And I think the biggest thing to

tie it back to the beginning is, like, when you're starting something new, you have

to give yourself a little bit of grace that, like,

things may take longer than you want them to, or things may be a little

bit more harder than you want them to. But if you can

continue to keep doing it and you can continue to show up each day,

you will succeed. You will eventually figure it out. And I

think there's no better, like, analogy than growing a YouTube channel. And, you know, starting

a YouTube channel a couple months ago, you know, in

2025, seems like a saturated

market. Seems like it's going to be impossible to do that. But,

you know, you can think it's those things that you can't control, or you could

just start making videos. I can just start making videos, and that's what I did.

Um, and that's what I'm doing. So those are the things that I can focus

on. And eventually I'll figure it out. And if it's not

as soon as I want it to be, that's okay. Um, I know that I

have high expectations of myself always, and perhaps you do, too.

So maybe we can go into it knowing that and

sort of allowing ourselves

to let the process take as much time as it needs

to. Um, so, yeah, hopefully this episode was helpful for you.

Leave a comment on YouTube of maybe something that you do to

try to let go, something that's helpful for you so you can

help other people out who are watching this. And

that's all I got for you today. Thank you so much for listening

I appreciate it. And I will see you on another episode real soon. Take

care.