Working Towards Our Purpose

Welcome to episode 67 of Working towards

our purpose. Thank you for being here. Today's episode,

we are going to talk about being proud of yourself,

but before we get into that, we, we are going to do our normal

check in that we do every time we have an episode.

And for some reason I had a thought this morning and I was like, man,

if somebody's binging this, maybe they might not like this.

But then I challenged that and I was like, you know what? You could

be a different person in 20 minutes after an episode. So still important to

check in with yourself, I think. So we're going to continue to

do it. So take a moment, see how you're feeling and

see where you're at today.

For me, I am feeling pretty good.

I'm feeling like I've

tended to some burnout that, you know, last week's episode

is about. And yeah, I'm feeling. Feeling good and

feeling inspired. I'm feeling a lot of like, creative energies

coming in, which is cool. But I'm also kind of feeling

anxious about things. So, yeah, kind of got like this weird,

like, really good feeling and then also just like pretty anxious feeling.

So kind of trying to see what that's about. But,

yeah, excited about today's episode, it kind of goes off

of the burnout episode.

I guess I kind of took my own advice

and, or actually my therapist's advice

and actually tried to celebrate some wins.

And yeah, so the idea for this episode kind of came off

of I went to dinner with my

significant other partner, girlfriend, and we

sort of like intentionally went to

talk about like, our wins. And

it, like, it worked, which is, which is weird for

me because normally I'll be like, yeah, here are some wins. That's great, whatever. But

we like, talked about it in depth intentionally

and at the end of it,

I actually felt proud of myself. And I took a moment and I

just sat there and tried to feel what it felt like because it's so

foreign to me and it

felt really nice. And I can't say that I

still feel that feeling, but it did

kind of propelled me into the. Into a weekend of like, doing things that were

like, I worked on some music I. I worked on a YouTube

video I was working on that I, that I wanted to edit and

stuff. So yeah, it, like, it set me up really good and it made

me feel good and proud of myself. And

yeah, it just kind of brings me to the idea of like, why is it

so hard to feel proud of yourself? And why is it so hard to like,

feel that so first I wanted to

talk about it and try to describe how I felt, which,

again, it was just really foreign, and I knew it was this fleeting feeling

that I was gonna go away. So I tried to just

hold onto it for a little bit of time. But I do think it had,

like I said, a profound impact on the rest of my weekend, setting myself

up for this week. So I was really appreciative

of being able to have that moment and to

take a minute to think about, like, how far I've come. For me, it was

like talking about the podcast and, like, YouTube

channel and thinking about how

when I kind of started this a few months ago, I didn't really have any

idea where I wanted it to go. I didn't even really know that I

wanted to do YouTube. And I just started making stuff, and then

it. Like, it's been this evolution and this funnel of trying to

get closer to what it is that I feel like I want to do. And

I feel like I've really made progress on that with the help of the people

around me. And I have some really great people

around me that I'm thankful for. And, yeah, it just felt

really nice. Like, I felt. I felt really good and

grateful and. Yeah, so. So I want to talk about, like, why is it

so hard to be proud of yourself?

And I think there's a few reasons. The

first that I want to talk about, I don't think I mentioned this on the

last episode. Maybe I did, but my therapist mentioned

that people that have ADHD struggle with,

like, feeling like they finish tasks because

their brain's moving so quickly that they're kind of on to the next task before

they finish the last task. So you never actually get, like,

the dopamine hit from finishing something and completing something

because you're already thinking about the next thing.

And I don't know that I have adhd. Maybe I

have some tendencies of that. I think we kind of all maybe have some

tendencies of ADHD not to diminish. People that do suffer from it

a lot, but I

resonated with that. Like, the idea that I'm like,

you know, I finish a podcast episode, and immediately I'm on to the next one.

I'm. I'm never really, like, taking a minute to be like, oh, I'm on

episode 67. I remember getting to episode 50

and just kind of, like, realizing it as I was recording it. I'm

like, oh, that's kind of a milestone. Well, maybe we'll celebrate 100.

So, yeah, just. Just never really Taking a moment to, like, think

about what I'm doing because I'm always kind of future

and, and that's a good quality too. I think, you know, that that's, that's not

necessarily a bad thing, but I do think it makes it a little bit harder

to be proud of what it is that you've accomplished.

So some other thing that. Another thing for me

about why it's. It's hard to feel proud of

myself is just like, inherent

or. No, I don't want to say inherent. Just the

ever long struggle with feeling

worthy. I think it's. It's hard for me to feel proud of

myself when I feel like

a lot of things aren't good enough.

So, you know, if I take the podcast, for example, I'm like, yeah, I'm at

50 or I'm at 67, but, you know,

I don't know that they're that good. Or, you know, maybe I'm

getting a little bit better at making a good episode. Like, so the feeling of,

like, what you're making isn't good enough. Like, I certainly do that with

music, like creating music, finishing things, and I'm like, yeah, I

finished that. But like, it wasn't, wasn't really good enough. So it doesn't really

count. Yeah, man, that's a big one. Like, feeling like it's

not good enough. So it doesn't count. Like, how ridiculous is that?

That's like such a. Such a

flawed thought that it's not good enough. So it doesn't

count.

Yeah, so I don't know if that, you know, if you can

resonate with some of that. But I mean, I

think a lot of us struggle with being proud of ourselves. And another

thing that came to mind as I was thinking about this episode was

just societal norms and societal expectations.

I mean, I don't know how many times we've been told to, like, be

humble or not be too boisterous and

to not, like, make somebody else feel bad because you did something,

you know, so, like the idea of like, taking a minute and being like, yeah,

I did a good job at this. It almost feels like you're not really supposed

to do that, you know, Like, I don't know, you've ever gotten like

a raise at work or something, and you kind of like, don't want

to say anything because you don't want to make anybody feel bad or.

Yeah. Make somebody feel less than the

idea that you're supposed to be humble, you're supposed to kind of diminish

yourself, which I Don't agree with.

Yeah. So I think there's a lot of societal pressures of,

you know, not celebrating ourselves. And

I think it's important to be proud of what you're doing, because if you're not,

it sort of just beats you down and you get burnt

out. You know, you. You maybe think that you're not good enough to keep

doing whatever it is that you're doing. Um, so. So I think it really

is important to be proud of yourself and to be your own

cheerleader, Especially when you're creating something, you're being creative,

you're starting a business where, like, maybe. Maybe there's not a lot of

people that believe in you. You're starting something up.

You need to be your first believer, because if you don't believe in

it, then nobody else is gonna. So part of

you believing in yourself is being proud of yourself, being, you know,

celebrating your wins, like, you know, seeing your

progress and seeing that you're making progress. Cause I think that's another

part of being able to keep doing something, too, is actually

seeing forward progress and forward momentum. And sometimes

you are making forward progress and momentum, but you're just not

realizing it because you're not taking a minute to check and

look back to see what you did because you're so focused on the. On

looking ahead. So I think. I think that that's

been definitely a struggle for me, and then

sort of, maybe the last thing that I had here for, you know. Why is

it so hard to feel proud for yourself? I think part

of it, too, is, like, you know, how you grew up, how you were

taught to treat yourself based on how you were treated.

You know, maybe you didn't necessarily have,

like, someone to be your cheerleader when you were a kid. And maybe it

was sort of, you know, for

me, like, the worthy issues. It was always like, well, you did that, but it's

not good enough. So then I internalize that,

and I need to realize that, like, okay, now

I'm an adult, and that's how I got through my childhood. And

maybe I didn't feel worthy then, and I'm carrying that into my

adulthood. But now it's my chance to change that and to decide

that I don't want to feel like that anymore. So it's my chance to

change. Not being proud of myself. It could start with me. Like,

it has to start with me. I can

think that, like, maybe this isn't serving me any longer

to not be, like, proud or to not talk about the

things that I'm, like I feel good about, you know,

so I think that part of it is sort of that inner

child work of, like, realizing that, like, the

way that you do things isn't serving you anymore. So now is

your opportunity to change that. So,

yeah, so that. That kind of brings me to the. To the action part of

this podcast. And normally I have, like, you know,

sort of a list of things that I think are. Are helpful for

overcoming this or getting through this. But I have. I have

one today, and I'm. I got a question

for. For all you listening at the end of this. But the

one thing is to just

actually do the action. So to go out there

today and, like, say something that

you're proud of for yourself and tell someone, like, I think that's

the biggest thing is, like, doing it with somebody else. Find a friend,

a partner, a family member,

anybody, really. And set up. It doesn't have to be a dinner, but maybe

it could be a lunch or a coffee or a phone call

and be like, hey, let's intentionally talk about, like, the things that we're proud of

or, like, the things that we're. That we're, you know, we want to

celebrate. And maybe it can even just be a text message if,

you know, maybe that seems a little overwhelming. But, like, what can you

do to take action? Like, after this episode of being like,

okay, this is something that I'm proud of, and I'm going to have a conversation

about it, even if it's just a small text conversation. And

how can I do that and make that happen? Because I think for me,

the action of talking it and discussing it out. Discussing it

out. Wow, that's a weird way to say that. Talking it out with

somebody reflects it back to you. It reflected

it back for me, and I could see

myself in a more clear lens

versus if I'm just in my head thinking about what I'm proud about. So

speaking it out loud, hearing somebody be like, wow, yeah, you have made a lot

of progress. You know, you did that to hear that they're proud of

you, you know, So I do think that,

like, a conversation is the best way to do it, but if it seems too

intimidating, start with the text and just be like, hey, you know,

blame it on me. If it sounds awkward, be like, I heard a podcast and,

you know, I want to talk about things that we're proud of, and I'm proud

of me doing this. Like, what are you proud of? So

that's my one action for today. And that brings me to

the question that I have

so if you. If you haven't used the feedback form yet on my website, you

could just go to workingtowardsapurpose.com There's a feedback form. I want to know

what's more helpful for you, the listener. Like,

do you like having the five steps or is

this more helpful? Like, in today's format? Just like, here's one thing you can go

do right now. Um, so I'm curious to see. To see

what's a little bit more helpful or, you know, what you enjoy more.

Because I know sometimes, like, having a long list of things can be

overwhelming. And then it's just like this overwhelming dump of. There's

a lot of things going on here, you know, so. So, yeah,

let me. Let me know your opinion. I would really like to hear it.

And also, one last thing

before we end today's episode. Wow. Today's episode's a little shorter than normal,

probably. Cause I'm not running through so many things at the end, but that's okay.

So also,

you know, if you're listening on YouTube, please leave a comment of what it

is that you're proud of to get this sort of conversation going.

And yeah, leave a comment about one thing that

you're proud of that you've done in the last couple months, last weeks,

last day, whatever it may be.

And yeah, I think that's kind of all I got for today. I'm going to

be okay with ending it a little bit shorter. And

yeah, be proud of yourself today. You know,

if nobody else tells you that, you know, be

proud of yourself, you should. You should be proud of yourself for doing the best

that you can. And I will end on that note. Thank you for

listening as always. I appreciate you. And I will see you on another

episode real soon.

Sam.